Tuesday, 12 August 2014


Well I went out and ate lunch by myself  and my mum came out and asked me how I was I said fine but my stomach still hurts and it s worse after eating aka now.she then just started yelling at me a saying it's just anxiety get over it and do your exercises or I am calling your phycologist or however  you spell t and I got really upset and burst into tears. She then got angrier at me for crying and was all like its all in your head get over it work through your plan you made for times like this. I don't have a plan WTF??! Like I am not nervous enough feeling like this knowing that it might be anxiety but I don't know how to deal with it and school catching up on work same with ballet and f*** speech!!! And pizza on fri!! I hate my life I just want it to end know one understands. They think I can just snap out of it I can't!! And this morning I got a text from a girl in my textiles group and she was all like where the F. are you!! Our teacher is sooo mad at us and you because you aren't here to mode and we at NOT doing it for you, it is your job! We are in so much crap and it is all your fault!! Well thanks F you! You don't know what my life is like already and it is not my fault I am sick and you have done nothing I made this whole thing and I took it home hand sewed a whole skirt for this just for you two to be bitchs and not where it so now w frickenbfailed the whole assement because you didn't want to wear it! I know you don't care what class you get into next year for NCEA but I was on track for the extension class but one fail could change all of that thanks!! Uugghh I hate my life!!! F*** them!! I will talk to my teacher but she seems to hate me so not likely she will change her mind! I feel like telling them how much stress and anxiety and depression and my ED  is putting on me at the moment but they won't change their mind! They won't give a shit about me. And are you really making a girl with anorexia walk around in a singlet a tight short skirt! Like I don't feel sick enough having the class (art) paint pics of me we all had to have photos taken of us, that was bad enough but she only choose the 'good' photos which three of them involve me so half the class have to do a study on my body!! F***!!! And now walking around in a skimpy dress. Luckily I probably won't have to do it now she has already decided on her mark!

Anyway I feel like shit. And sick and fricken anxious. But who cares??!! Only me...

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