Sunday 10 August 2014

My day :(

Well I tried positive but it s failing, I only ate some celery and five crackers for morning tea and I didn't eat lunch because my stomach hurts so much and I feel sick and have a headache and I really just feel terrible. The only thing I have done after school for the last two hours is curl up on my bed cry and try to force myself to eat a little of my lunch. I have managed to eat a muslie bar, but that's it. If I didn't have ballet tonight I doubt I would of even ate that. F*** I feel terrible!! And now made myself cry again!! Ugh and I am so fricken nervous about tomorrow as I have to do my speaking test in front of the whole class and my speech!! I haven't practiced either as well all I have done is cry and feel really crap after school as that is when I was planning to practice and I know I have to go to ballet in a hour and honestly right now the last thing I want to do is get into a tight leotard in front of 15 people plus teacher and hav them watch me dance or dance at all!! And for the last half hour or so I have somehow been scratching my leg with my bobby pin and now I have a big bruise on my leg and what is really pissing me off is that I never self harm and I just did it without realizing ! ***** !!
And I am dreading the scales soo much, not eating in two days is sure to do something and I don't want to lose weight I really don't!! And my mum weighs me once a week that happens to be Monday's so I don't know what to do !! Help...

Sorry :) but I had to get it out, sorry.
Anyway I hope your day was heaps better than mine :) stay strong xoxo!!

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