Well you know how I was so proud of myself of not breaking down well it lasted until yesterday after school. I managed yesterday morning as well which I was so happy about not one tear!! Yay! But after school I don't know I just kind of broke down and I think I spent probably three hours in tears and full panic mode, it was horrible I felt sick and faint and I couldn't stop shaking and then my dad got angry at me and I was just a mess. It wasn't fun, like all my anxiety that I have been pushing away and hiding just couldn't contain itself any longer and burst out and knocked me over. Thankfully by then my mum was home and came to talk to me, which honestly is just what I wanted.
I feel so bad for yesterday, I am so sorry t both my parents, I am so so sorry. I get t a place where I just want to give up and it is all too hard and I am sorry, I am sorry for bringing you into the mess of me and I am sorry for wanting t give up and I am sorry for all the things I have said and I am sorry.
And on top of t all I didn't do very well in my English exam, all the questions I had studied and memorized quotes for weren't there! There was three possible questions out of about 10 we would get and I studied for six questions and none of them were there, I was hoping at least one was! Seriously it was a 2/3 chance for each one but nope none I was in that unlucky 1/3 of all six questions! Ahhh so I had t make up both my essays on the spot and had 30min t write and plan each which isn't enough time! So they were short and well I don't think I did t well...
And today I did my French exam and I am not going t mention anything else except I think I will be lucky if I pass.
But to end on good news I did get an excellence on my health project, mine was on body image in music so I am happy I got to marks on that :)
Anyway I hope you are all well :)
Love ya :) xoxox