Sunday, 4 January 2015

Helloooo :)

Hi guys I hope you are all well!!!
I am enjoying being down in Arrowtown at the moment although I am starting to miss home :( but that always happens so its not a big deal, I just like the comfort of home and my own room where I dont have to share with my brother and with my anxiety my room was always my 'comfort' area and I would always feel safe in it and it would be the only place where I could escape it, I am better about it now and dont feel the need to be in it all the time and cant leave like it use to be but I still like being in there if that makes any sense at all it probably doesn't !!! hahah!!! 
Today we went up the Gondola and down the luge a couple of times in Queenstown (which is like the big town close to Arrowtown where we are staying as it is a tiny place it doesn't even have a supermarket!!) 

 There was such a beautiful view at the top :)

            ^this is the luge track^^ by the way,
 they are like little cart things you drive down :)

After having a fun morning out in queenstown with some shopping complete :) R got a phone case for his new iphone 6 he got for Christmas ( yes I know a iphone 6!! But I did get my laptop For school and he will be starting high school this year!! My parents always said we could get a phone when we started high school and I felt bad as I always do when they buy me  stuff and got a tiny little cheap-ish one about $100 they smallest amount you could pay for a smart phone haha! Rs screen is bigger than my whole phone!! haha it is huge and its not even the plus!!! I am not complaining though I love my little trusty phone:)) And my Mum got some clothes and my other brother B got his first ever pair of sunglasses and they are soo cute and tiny I dought they would even fit on my head!!

 After That we went out for mornign tea and this is the little cake I got, I couldnt finish it though but 
most of it was eaten :) It was soo pretty!!

Tomorrow we are planning to go zip-lining and I am honestly very anxious about it. I dont really want to do it and I already feel very sick and shaky about it and all the bad thoughts on what could go wrong are just streaming into my head and wont go away and I know that is only going to be the start of it... I have asked not to do it but my parents think it I should go just to help get over all the anxiety and prove the little voice in my head wrong and I think they are right but I still feel freaked out and dont want to do it, but I dont think I really have a choice. I am just scared of what could and might happen and go wrong and also as I know I will be extremely on edge if I do it and I am worried it will be too much and I will just break down or have a another anxiety attack in front of all these people and instructors ad there will be lots of people there too which is also making me nervous. So I am not sure if I will do it or not, but I should, and I am sure I will enjoy it if I do and otherwise I will have to sit by myself in a cafe for 3 hours and I am not sooo keen on that either.. 

Sorry this has gotten so long, I have probably bored you to death by now ;) If you managed to get through it that is ;) I didnt intend it being so long but when I am nervous it all just seems to come out and its nice to get it written down and look how ridiculous my thoughts are ;)

Anyway I hope you are well and having a great holiday :)
Lots of love Livvy 

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