Saturday, 24 January 2015

Day 4

What were the things that scared you most about recovering when you were sick, and how do you feel about them now? / What things scare you most about recovery..and can you give a rational reason why those things shouldn't scare you?

>> Putting on weight and keeping it on as my goal weight was 4kg more than I had ever weighed in the first place. I can understand why I felt like this as I didnt know what my body would look like and whether it actually would be big or not and it frightened me as I didint know what to expect ( and at that point I could only imagine it to be huge). I know that thinking this is irrational as I was shown charts that compared my height and age and even computerized images of what I would look like and I knew my bmi would be at a healthy level when I reached  my goal weight, and the doctors would not make me overweight it is their job to make us healthy not go to one extreme to the other!!

>> Being judged by my friends by putting on weight and losing them as friends all together as they wouldnt wan tto be with a unattractive fat girl. I cant believe I ever thought this as I know my friends (well I think I do anyway:)) and they would never care about what I looked like and if they did they wouldnt be worth hanging around anyone as my friends love me for me and my personality (even though it is a quiet and sometimes shy one) they love me for who I really am, appearance shouldnt mean anything!And I know that I wasnt going to be overweight and getting to a healthy weight would not make me ugly but more healthy looking with nice skin not pale stuff and strong hair and nails!

>> Being able eat what I want when I want as I was terrified that without my supplements and meal plan I wouldnt be able to keep my weight up and I I would muck it up and eat too much or too little as I really didnt know how much was a normal healthy amount was. And having the trust and freedom to do that as I wanted help I didnt know what to do but for some reason was too afraid to ask for help when I know I can

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