Week one of school is done :) and ANZAC day :)

Hiiii guys!!! I hope you are all well!!!! 

Week one out of 11 weeks of term is over!!! And next week I have my French speech :( not looking forward to that :( and today is Anzac Day (Australia New Zealand Army Corps) to remember all the fallen soldiers in the war and today is also the 100th centenary of troops arriving in Gallipoli as well which marks Anzac Day. We are so thankful for all the troops that fought for our country and we will always remember them. 

Anyways this week at school has been pretty cool and fun which I am happy about :) on Tuesday we had our field trip for the extension sciences setting level 2 physics (ahhhhh!!!) if level one isn't going to be hard enough why not skip it and set level 2 instead!! But as we are the only school in yr 11 setting it we got places to visit the university and do experiments and such there. We are doing radioactivity for our physics course so we visited the Rutherfords den there and then studied the display and then got to play I mean carry out experiments on radioactive stuff :) that was super cool we held the $10 000 polonium rods which admitted alpha particles so we were safe unless we ate or licked it :) then we would probably die haha... And at the end as I kind of 'do physics at  university' promotion thing we froze the carrot slices we used to block radiation in one of our things (won't go into detail as it Would bore you :)) with liquid nitrogen and got to pore it over ours hands and then eat the carrot and hold it. My carrot bit froze my hand as I held it in the same spot for too long which hurt a lot but some people put it strait in their mouth and got it stuck to their tongue and were walking around with carrot stuck on their tongue for ten minutes before it defrosted haha that was super funny!!! 

And yesterday for last period for history we went to the airforce museum which was actually really cool but we had barely anytime there so lots of photos of information was taken so I can finish my research for my internal!! 

I haven't visited the museum since school trips when I was tiny years and years ago so it was cool to go back :) not much had changed :)   

How has your week been???

Lots of love 

Livvy xoxo :)

Afternoon!

Good afternoon guys how are you? I am vey happy it got to 19 degrees today!!! It's so hot!! I can actually were my shorts!! The bad thing though is we still have to wear our winter uniform at school which involves tights a thick kilt long sleeved blouse a singlet because the tops are quite see through and otherwise you can see your bra even white and skin coloured ones! Along with a cardigan which is composerly to wear and optional with this jacket we have. And in this weather it is way to hot and you get all sweaty! I decided to walk home again today and by the time I got home my back ached from my bag full of heavy books and folders and when I took my cardigan off my back was so sweaty the top was pretty much see through!! Haha at least I was wearing my cardigan and bag on the way home!!

We started our static images today and mine actually looks really good! A boy who walked up to the front of the class t ask the teacher something even said wow when he walked past!! Yay!! Although I am going to be tight on time as we only have two more lessons on it and I only got a few things on the front yet alone the back!! And we can't do anything at home as it is a assement!! So hopefully I finish!!

It was weird today with most of my friends away but they will be back on Monday so it's not too bad! Can't wait for the to be back! :)

Hope you had a great day :) :) xoxo!

Long day

Hhhh school is finally over, didn't have any room changes today but tomorrow I do so I am very confused on where I am meant to be going!! *haha walks into a room full with yr13s doing an exam*  I really do not like the new timetable even though we only have it for the rest of this week and next week, I hate having lunch at 11!! I mean its only 55 min after morning break and today I really wasn't hungry, so i just nibbled on a few crackers but by last period which was PE I was starving!!so I ate as much as I could between classes and after school, and that's how the rest of the week will be as well I think!

All of my friends (wel not all of them only 6) are going on a leadership camp tomorrow, it was picked randomly and it just happened to be all my friends that are going! To be honest I am really glad I am not going or was chosen, haha me away from home for 4 nights and 5 days maybe staying in a cabin full of people I don't know and eating the food there, are no....!!! Not happening I would get way to nervous probably have lots of anxiety attacks and the food well thats not go there. So it will be weird tomorrow when our group of 9 that we sit with will turn into 3... Haha we will just have fun without them!!...

Ahh also freaking out with my static image assement tomorrow, I still haven't got a plan or even a sketch(which I should probably be doing now but you are more important!!) so off to do that now!!! And then off to ballet, my teacher is back after being away for two months so tonigh will be wow ou have really improved or lots of yelling and you have gotten worse?,! And I think it will be the second one... Wish me luck!! :)

Life today!

Well today was pretty good. The yr 11 ups have their exams that start tomorrow (Ahh that will be me next year Ncea exams!) so our timetables are all mucked up... All our classes have been changed to different rooms and for French and art our class has been split up?! Half of our french class is in H block another in K and another in I?! I block is my normal class room but I have been moved to K. All the teachers are saying different things like some are saying go to your normal class and others are saying follow the new timetable and then we got sent a email saying something different again!?! So tomorrow I am garenteed to go to the wrong class, which is also making me anxious as school is my main point of anxiety so adding extra stress is freaking me out!!
Also the thing with our new timetables are that we now have morning break at 9:45!! And lunch at 11 which I think is stupid because I'm not going to be able to eat lunch at 11 when I am use to lunch at 12:50 and it is so close to morning break so I won't be hungry, and I won't be hungry at morning break because that is only an hour and ten min since school started!! And by 4th period we will all be starving!! They expect us to eat all our food in the morning then wait 4 and a half hours until after school, crazy... :( and I like eating at the same time each day, it's my routine and I hate change! :(

After school today, which I walked home for 40min I am so proud as I hate running and walking, worst kind of exercise... Too much effort ;) so lazy! I played tennis with R for an hour and that as fun! I still laugh how he is 2 years younger than me but still beats me every time!! I Lost 6-1 today... But they were all close matches like we got to duece every set, so happy about that and the set I did in was  on my serve too, haha so happy as my serves were actually okay today and went in!! Haha hope they do on Saturday too when we have coaching!!

For English at the moment we are doing static images and we have to design and make a book cover front and back for a myth or ledgen, I am thinking of doing Maui which is a maori myth but still not sure if I want to yet.. I have until thursday when we start on them s I have time kinda...

Anyway mum made spag bol tonight fr tea and that was really good, except for that fact my mum gave me heaps of it and I couldn't finish it, so it looked like I ate nothing when really I ate lots it was just a huge serving! And my parents complained that I wasn't eating enough and said I better start eating more and putting on more weight or they will call th ED centre again and I don't want that, just got trusted at home and school again!! So yeah, don't want t lose that trust!

I hope you guys had a good day as well!! Or start of a new day or rear of day whatever your time difference is! Haha, more hot chocolate icecream for desert I think!! (if you haven't tryed it it's by tiptop and you should it's so good!!) love you guys stay strong!! :)

Morning

Goofs morning guys. I really don't want to go to school today. I feel sick my stomach hurts and I have a headache. But there is no way I am getting out of going, and I don't want to miss any school. I hate catching up on work.
Hey and my friend just called and said she could walk!!! YAY!! Well that changes my plans I will walk so see ya!!!
Have a good day!

Screen print picture

Mwa haha my Mum went to the bathroom so I have about a minute to get this picture up!!

I couldn't get the lighting right and I only had about ten seconds to take the picture when my teacher was not looking as if she saw me with my phone out she would take it off me and I would rather that didn't happen...

This is probably the colour it really is

I really like my design and according to my teacher it is the best in the class too, which isn't very hard to be, my textiles class has all the druggies in it as it isn't streamed... And I am not kidding...

School..

Normal school day again. I did my screen print in textiles today so that was cool, I will post a pic when the computer is free, it is a dark pink colour thought, I wanted it to be either black red or maybe green bu the 'popular group wanted pink so that's what we got because we could only do one colour with the screen because it takes too long to wash and dry to change colours. But I think mine looks really good! I am going to try and cut out another pattern at home so I can do another one on Mon as you can only use your pattern once becaus it is made out of paper and it goes soggy.

On the bus on the way home these also 'popular' bratty girls who are a year younger than me, their first yr of high school decided to bus home as well. I knew them from my old school and they are so bitchy! They are the type who just annoy the hell out of you are do that high pitched fake laugh and scream a lot! Ugghh. And all the way you could here them talking like you know like this like totally all the like time! And they were saying oh that's get of at the mall and go to our old school and show off that we are so cool and at high school and yeah, oh that's go into subway and get free drinks with our cando cards because I forgot my money (haha good luck you can only get free drinks if you buy a six inch sub and cookie with your cando card!) And all the way hom they pressed the flipping button at every stop! Even though they weren't getting off, so we had to stop at every stop! Grrr. And they were going on about how bussing is so gross and everyone should feel sorry for them having to take the bus and they d it everyday. Hello, I take the bus to and from school everyday and this is the first time ever you had bussed! Wow they annoy me!!!

Well I am home now eating my carrot with probably three times the normal amount of hummus with it... Oh well hummus is amazing!! If you haven't tried Lisa's original lemon and garlic hummus, you havent lived!! It is so good and you would understand me eating half the tub!! Haha and my fanta zero. My parents have this thing where all fizzy drinks must be sugar and caffeine free! Did you know you can buy sugar free caffeine free diet coke?! And sugar free fanta, LP (the best NZ drink!) and lift?! It's so weird! Oh well healthy I guess?!

Tonight I am going to the cultural festival to watch my brother preform, he is leading the schools haka, so that's pretty cool, when I was yr 8 we didn't do kapa haka at the festival but I did do Korean dance (which was fun because it was like ballet but you flexed your feet not pointed and didn't have to turn your feet out and you got to use fans and these sleeves things!) being in the festival is a big honor as not very many people get invited and if they did it was only for one performance not all four, which I got to do! It was great because when we did one of the two matinees and yes is was the one with our prime minister watching our music stopped and we just kept dancing with our music going da da da da da da over and over and over, it was so funny and well very scary at the time thankfully the presenters helped us out! But it don't happen in the other three performances so that's good! And the best thing was doing danc eat our old school was considered weird and you had to do it at lunches so it was only my 6 best friends doing it to! And we missed out of school!! Haha yay (sorry flash back..)
So that will be cool tonight! Can't wait (and to see my brother in a grass skirt!! Haha!!). For now time to finish my hummus, ran out if carrot... And do my science homework and work on my design for textiles!!

Have a good afternoon!! Hope the day went well!

Long day..

Well another normal day at school today. My textiles teacher just will not give up! She really wants me to do textiles next year!! Today she marked my work and for the second time she has written, very good work do textiles next year! :) and yes she puts a smiley face!! And today as well she came up and gave me her very first endevner sicker (these weird things that we get and if you collect a certain amount you get awards/badges etc) Not that any yr10s really cares about them, only the teachers of the lower classes give them out to encourage the students to work!! Like my teachers only give them out on a very low occasion (because I am in the extension class!!) But honestly I don't really care about a badge!! Now time to do my maths homework! I feel I have to do it because most times he doesn't check it but I am sure the one time I don't do it he will check it so yeah... Wish me luck... Only three pages to go...

 pyramids..

 stimulationeous equations...

 And I have know idea what this is...

Of to ballet later too, yay!! But we have to go on point today so thats going to hurt... A lot...

They look pretty but hurt so much..

And this is what I have to fit my foot into, not kidding :(

 And on with no toe caps because otherwise they don't fit and I have no tape left to tape my feet so it will hurt even more, my toes are squished!! Well at least when they are smaller your feet go numb quicker!! (and my foot isn't that turned in and sickled its just the pic, if that was how I really pointed my foot I would NOT be on point at all or in grade 7!!)

Have a good afternoon!! xoxo :D

...

Today has not been a great day. I have had the worst cramps in the world all day, I woke up at 4am with them and couldn't get back to sleep so I'm tired too, they were okay by second period but came back at fifth and I still have them now :( Ugghh the ones that are so painful you feel the pain round your back and down you legs and feel sick :( that's me every month. They got so bad that I have had to start taking birth control tablets every month, not that I'm planning to have s*x anytime soon!! I really don't think they make a difference though but apparently they take three months to start working so only one more month to go! Hopefully they do work because it hurts soo much! :(

After school my mum took us for hair cuts, not that I want to cut my hair any shorter so I just got it trimmed and my fringe cut. My two brothers got there's done too, I love watching R have his den because it's always long when we go so when they use the buzzy thing to trim the sides he always gets a bowl cut for about two minutes and it's hairlious! But they then trim the top and it looks fine again! Haha it's great though...

My parents are toughing up on my fortisips they have relised I haven't been having them so now they are super strict in them. I hate them so much though, they taste disgusting and make me gag and because they are so high in calories, protein and heaps of other stuff they always make me feel sick and dizzy and give me headaches after, but apparently that's normal for people who don't eat enough. :(

Anyway we are having fish for tea, yay!! I love fish so much (that doesn't mean you have to like fish as well or eat it, it's your choice, your body!) we buy it from this special place and they put it in an oven bag with your choice of sauce, we normally have Thai sweet chilli but they didn't have that one today so mum got a coconut and spices one and that sounds really nice too, so can't wait to try it!

Now eating my yummy snack before tea, about ten M 'n' M's! Haha,  I love chocolate!! The new raspberry m'n'm's have come out as well and I can't wait to try them too oh and the vanilla milkshake ones! Haha we always get the new flavours in NZ way after them come out over seas, in Australia they have pretzel ones and they are really nice but I haven't been able to find them in NZ, I know they already had the raspberry ones out in Australia at the end of last year when we went but they have only come in NZ now!! Haha oh well...

Yay time for fish and rice, and veges of course!! Yum, it smells really good!!

Have a nice dinner too, or whatever meal you are having now where ever in the world you are! Stay calm and just try to enjoy it, it will he okay! And if it is really greasy or full of butter etc. hey one meal won't make any difference to your weight so Who Cares?! Enjoy it, it will taste great!! Unlessn it is a fortisip... In that case I feel your pain!! Have a good time :)

Hey

Sorry guys not a good post day :/ well photos...my mum is on the computer still!! I swear she hasn't left it at all except about 10 to go to sleep!! And I am already asleep by then! Will do as soon as I can!! Promise!

In English we started doing myths and ledgins so that will be fun, we are in groups of four I have my two friends M and J and this one boy who I kinda feel sorry for as he and J hate each other they literally cannot sit next to each other! Haha oh well lots of auguring tomorrow! Tomorrow we find which myths we are studying we are hoping for Greek roman or Egyptian they are the best ones but only three out of seven groups will get those so fingers crossed it is us :)

In textils I actually ,don't mind our teacher at the moment, no we still aren't doing or shorts ... :( but we are going to start screen printing so that will be really cool as you dont usually get to do screen prints until yr 13 which is three years away and I won't be doing textiles in yr 13 or next year :( my last year :( because I don't plan to have a career connected to textiles and you can only get 8 credits from the whole full year course when you get 36 from history which I am taking instead. My textiles teacher really wants me to do it though she marked my book and wrote in it this is great really good (yay!!!) do textiles next year! Haha...nope. And then when she saw my designs form printing she said they were great and they would get my top Marks next year as well as this year (again yay!) and I would do really well in the course and I should move to textiles !! Again haha..nope!! She will have t teach it without me in her class. Ever since she saw my book, which got top of class! She is treating me as her little pet and adores me, it very creepy!! Oh well at least I'm in her good books again!!

Otherwise nothing really exciting has happens just normal school and ballet :)

Have a good night xoxo!!

Long day...

Sorry no post in the morning this is why; I woke up at 6 with my alarm but then somehow went back to sleep and woke up again at 7:20 and I had to leave to catch the bus at 7:40!! So I was very rushed and all my anxiety caught up with me and I just burst into tears. I just didn't want to go to school, I knew I would go but it felt like a impossible task at the time. And then to make things worse I went to make my breakfast to find we had no oats left as my brother and mum had finished them that morning, ugh I hate having to change what I eat, I like my schedule. It is oats for breakfast!  So I had a fortisip instead :/ and to make things even worse time to grab my lunch and go and we didn't have any of my crackers or any crackers at all or rice things or roast corn so I had no carbs to pack, only a banana for fruit and biscuits. So that's what I took a banana and two biscuits :( no yogurt either. That one thing I hate about holidays. At lunch I had nothing as I ate my food at morning break so I decided that I wasn't going to be stupid and not eat soi went to the canteen (I hate the canteen soooo much! Anxiety with asking and deciding what to have and I don't know what is in it etc.) I ended up getting a chicken wrap which was okay. It had too much BBQ sauce though. But better than nothing.

I have lots of homework to do and three assignments to do well two really one isn't due until the end of the year but is something like 50 hours worth of work and I am slow so probably more like 80 :/

I'm looking forward to Friday night as my friends invited (first time invited out with my new friends XD!!!) me out to go rockclimbing, only at clip and climb so it will be easy but I haven't been there in about 4 years so it will be really fun to go back :D yay!! It's like I can feel my friends actually care about me and don't just sit with me because they feel sorry for me!! And even better next day day saturday I also got invited to go to my friends joint birthday party!! I feel like I am included with my friends finally!!! I use to feel left out, they also use to go out with me, they would invite everyone but me and these are the first two times I have been asked yayyyy!! So happy all fuzzy feelings inside :) :) !!! No ideas for presents though any ideas for 15yr old girls?? Please comment make my day :)

I will post the pictures later they are just downloading now :)

Hope your day went super well xoxoxoxo!!

School

Just another start of a boring day, just normal old school with all the anxiety I get with going... Oh well.. We have health first up with the awesome topic of sexutallity! :( its always so awkward :( haha but that's okay. Otherwise a normal day. I have textiles today as well yay we started embrodery haha great... Can we not just finish our shorts!!! Our teacher is really popular at the moment! Anyway it's her choice and she is currently ordering cotton for us from Auckland ?!! Why can't you just buy the same stuff in lincraft or spotlight that sell the exact same thread and they are in my city!! And it would be cheaper because you wouldn't need shipping and courier! Oh well... Her choice ...

I got asked if I could write what I have in my school lunch so here it goes:
Two mandarins
A tomato
Chocolate and caramel cupcake
Roasted corn kenels
A gingernut
Two sticks of celery
And either some crackers, crisp bread or pasta/rice etc.
Two fortisip, supplement things

So I don't eat enough I know I am working on it, please don't look at what I eat and think its okay to eat the same as me as I don't eat enough protein and carbs and therefore don't get enough calories either. So it is not okay to eat what I eat, I find fruit really easy to eat and swallow and things like bread or rice just really dry and horrilbe eww they are gross... So I have fortisips to make sure I get enough into me, I have two at school and two at home and that is not all I eat so please just eat what is on your meal plan and what you love/craving !

Anyway that's what my lunch and morning tea look like and now I'm late for the bus again so BYYEE!! Eat well! :)

Hey

So not really anything exciting to write about, just a normal day at school. We watched the final of the talent quest at lunch so that was pretty cool which was held in the aurora center which is a theater we have at school, lots of events come to use it like the Russian ballet company etc. so yeah we are lucky to have it. Australia on Thursday !! Yay exciting! I am not sure if I will have Internet connection so if I don't post anything from Thursday to Monday that's why. Not giving up blogging, that's for sure!! So sorry if there is nothing I will try to every chance I get! And there won't be any pics as I can't download them on my iPad that I am taking and I won't have access to a computer sorry! There will be heaps of pics when I get back!

I had a big bowl of popcorn and icing (powdered) sugar after school yummmm! For those who have not had this combination you should defiantly give it a go, it's soo good! :)

Otherwise nothing much happened, my ankle seems to be fine now still a bit sore but you know I'm use to pain now! Haha...

Hope your day went okay :)

Sorry

Sorry guys but I am running late for the bus this morning so I don't really have much time to write a proper post because I spent too long making my breakfast (porridge with fresh fruit salad, that took longer to cut up than I thought!) so my ankle is still quite sore so I will wear a brace on it today and hope for the best!! And I hope you guys have an awesome day!! :) face your fear I know you can do it!! And I'm in a really good mood super happy :) hope it lasts :) :) love ya xoxo

:)

Ballet went really well, it always makes me happy so now I'm in a really good mood, too bad I have to go to bed now :( oh well hopes up I wake up this happy in the morning!! Also I found these really nice snacks they are called corn crunch, they are just roasted corn kernels but really good! Yum eating them now, in bed I know... They taste like healthy crunchy popcorn! Kind of disappointed as I tweaked something in my ankle in PE last period, we were doing Zumba haha!! And dancing on it has made it worse and it has spread up to my knee :( I presume I just twisted it or landed on it weird and because I wasn't walking/dancing on it normally it out of lined my knee as well, I tend to do that a lot as my arches in my feet collapse easily so I know what it feels like... It just aches now not too bad so hopefully it will be gone in the morning !

Good night all xoxo ...or morning depending on where you live, good night here anyway :)

Well

Well today didn't go to plan my friend was running late and said oh I'll only be 5min again and again over and over again until it got to 8:40 and school started at 9 so I just left without her and ran to school with my big heavy bag in 20 minutes which when normally takes me an hour to walk and got to class just on time our teacher is always late so I wasn't! Then I had to model my costume and had to wear it for the whole hour as I wasn't allowed to go to the changing rooms and I was NOT taking off my top to stand there in my bra while there were windows everywhere and boys in the room... And I didn't want everyone to see how thin I was, I am ashamed enough. Then at our breaks my friends kind of ignored me, like I came over a said hi as I sat down and they kept talking and didn't even relise I was there and my best friend M has found a love in anime so now she just talks about it all the time with A who I am pretty sure dislikes me very much right from the start and so it's almost like I lost her cause every time I try to talk to A or to M when A is around she just looks at me and stops talking. Oh well, it can't be too bad sitting alone at lunch, can it?? And then when I got home everyone was out so I made a nice big smoothie just with yogurt, milk and this strawberry syrup thing we had in the cupboard it was really nice and filled me up. I had just finished when my mum came home and said we were going over to her friends for afternoon tea, even though I just ate mine!! And when we got there she had set up little plates for all of us with a cupcake chips a piece of brownie and a glass of fizzy, then a fruit platter in the middle and I kind of had to eat at least the stuff that was on my plate so now I am extra stuffed and feel sick. Then my little brother almost 2 was on the trampoline and fell and landed on the bar and slit his lip even though I had said to J to watch him so it didn't happen oh yeah yeah got it she said but it still happened and I feel like it was my fault, the guilt! And then when we were getting into the car a big gust of wind came and slammed the door shut in my head so now I feel sick and have a massive headache and in a hour I have to go to ballet!! I just feel like crying!! Oh well.

Some days you just have very bad luck..but you just have to stay positive! I hope your day went well :)

New day

About to walk to school with one of my best friends with my strait hair :) it will be nice to talk to her some more as she is only in my maths class so I don't really see her much and we are going to play a little trick or our old friend who went to our old school haha yay! We did it last year as well so she will know it was us but just a reminder for her on how awesome and cheeky we are! Haha... And then I have to talk to my textiles teacher...first period... I have done heaps more work than what we had to so if this doesn't get me a E (excellence, E is our top nit bottom!!) then I don't know what will...

Ahhh I spent do long doing this it  better get a E!!! Please!!!

Dinner

Dinner was very nice we had roast lamb and roast veges (haha typical kiwi Sunday roast!!) And then trifle and my grans stewed pears for desert yum :) I ate so much that I felt sick and my stomach ached!! Suppose that is a good thing though... But its like I ate all that plus some of my lollies and my weight is still lower than the past few days (44) !! So really that proves that it IS okay to eat lollies and pig out it really doesn't matter!! Eat what you want when you want, eat what you are craving it is okay!!

Yum!!! these are just the veges, I couldn't really take lots of pictures with my phone as one as my parents and grandparents don't know about my blog and I would like to keep it this way it would be very weird to take pictures of tea and two, my grandparents don't really approve of technology. So yeah that's why there is only one photo.

Ughh I am so full!! Tomorrow I am going to walk to school with my friend, So I will get some exercise it is approx. 7 km so good workout especially with I don't even know how heavy my bag is but it is very heavy!! And I will have to talk to my textiles teacher tomorrow, dreading it... Hopefully can move my grade up from a NA which is very unfair as it was my terrible group who decided to not do it not me and I couldn't help being sick!! so yeah hopefully she is in a very good mood :) fingers crossed!!

Good night xoxo new week, new progress forwards !! :) go on make sure you reach your goal this week I believe in you!

Today

Well so I did end up going to the pizza lunch and I just said gluten made me feel sick and I couldn't really eat more than one piece, which is almost true but I could of managed about four :P so I ended up eating one piece, choose the tiniest by far as I felt it would be rude not to eat anything after our prefects put quite a bit of effort into it. So I was happy and ate my tiny piece then settled for my two mandarins I had packed for my lunch, but then after my friends and a few boys realized how little I ate and there was one piece left I had most of the class chanting for me to eat it, so well I was filled with anxiety because so many people had there attention on me (that is the worst thing ever to happen to me, pretty much all my anxiety evolves people looking at me) so I took the piece and they all went away. But I knew I didn't want it I felt sick holding, not from gluten and after one bite I felt like throwing up, I didn't and wouldn't but felt it. For the whole lunch I just picked at it slowly all the grease and pineapple (hate cooked pineapple hate it) and oil ewww I ate it all but admit it was an effort. A big effort. Oh well I do need to put on weight, and there is nothing wrong with pizza at all pizzas good just not when you can see the oil and fat on top and drips off when you hold it... Ewww.

I would also just like to say sorry I know there hasn't been many photos at all lately but during the week my mum works at home to look after my brother and has all her work files up and documents open on the computer so week days the computer is out of bounds so I can't upload any and my iPad that I write my posts on doesn't let me put photos on so sorry mon-fri no pics but weekends I will go crazy !!

Bacon and pasta for tea was nice, a comfort with veges of corse! I made a chocolate self saucing pudding for dessert but after I made it I couldn't eat it, just lost all intrest in it couldn't put it in my mouth, I have know idea why but everyone else ate it and said it was good, so that's nice.

Anyway craving fruit salad at the moment, yes in bed so you can expect that for breakfast, haha. Hopefully with crêpes! If I can be bothered making them... :)

Good night :)

Well...

Off to school tomorrow. Yay kinda super anxious and speech dun dun dun. I will be fine. I just had to have a talk wit my parents they sat me down as was all like what has caused your anxiety? We can tell you are very depressed and anxious and we are going to start you doing lots of exercise to help, haha have they completely forgotten that I have to gain weight not lose it!! Oh well yay exercise I guess!! They also want me to start seeing my conceller/physicologst again I will call her M on this :) they said I keep falling back into my old ways... if only, pretty sure it's worse not so much the anxiety still back to stage one but not worse as far as eating and depression go well... if only they knew hw much I weigh at the moment,they still think I weigh 46 when I really weigh 42. And if they saw my new cuts done this afternoon on my ankle well that would have me in a mental hospital in ten minutes, so for now long socks! I don't even know wha happened I was practicing my speech and every time I messed up I cut myself with the siccors...I don't really feel guilty about it, it helped my frustration and depression drain away as this was soon after my mum yelled at me and I was still very upset. Good thing now is that because it hurt like hell I now know my speech off by heart :P  the only good thing, I am nt oing to do it aim very stupid!! Please don't do it it's not worth it please if you don't do it for yourself at least stop for your friends and family! Anyway not doing it again, I was very dumb and did it above my ankle above where my longest PE socks go. We have to where ankle socks for PE no exception if you forget your PE socks you have to go bare feet and my ankle socks don't cover my cuts and no jelewery so no anklets and a plaster isn't big enough I would need like five or six and it is obvious that isnt from my cat or a thorn bush etc it is really clear that it is a cut...from me... And make up doesnt work I've tried. So if any of you have tips please comment or email me ASAP ! Please I have PE first period tomorrow and really don't want everyone seeing, Ahh!! So don't be like me recover it's worth it!! Today was like my relaspe for andiety ED and depression all in one day...

Anyways see ya later!! Be warned anxious post in the morning garenteed :/