Dinner for the grandparents :)

Hi guys :) how are you?? 

Last night for the first time in ages I cooked dinner for my whole family and my grandparents so my gran nana and poppa :) so happy 

Oh and I ate it too!!!! Normally I struggle a lot with eating my own cooking, baking is okay but cooking usually I won't eat it but  I did!!! 

I made a Chinese meal. So we had sweet and sour chicken, honey soy chicken, egg fried rice, steamed veges and bok choy (which is my favourite vegetable of all time, it tastes sooooo good!!!! You should definitely try it yum :) ) with a garlic and soy sauce thingy :) 

The first 2 dishes written above I got the recipe from 'the recipe critic' which is another website which has the recipes on it if you would like to try it out, they are very easy and super yummy!!! 

I know I am awesome at putting things in bowls nicely ;) 

Yummy :) and everyone seemed to like it too! But mostly everyone was super proud with me which was super nice to have their support:) 

I am the weirdest cook ever. If anyone saw me cook I think they would burst out laughing ;) I hate touching meat so I wear two pairs of rubber gloves (incase one rips) and I can't look at it and the smell so I don't  look hold my breath and wear two pairs of gloves which make my hands look super fat haha!!!! And then when it comes to browning it in oil I get scared that it will spit at me and burn me (which I think is fair enough:)) so I wear oven mits when frying it haha :)

I must look ridiculous. But hey it works :) 

And for dessert I made a apple and berry sponge pudding from the good trusty Edmonds cook book. It is a cook book which had been around for ages in New Zealand abd I think everyone who grew up in NZ has one literally everyone! I don't know anyone who doesn't!! 

But it's a great book so if anyone come out to NZ grab a copy!  

So yeah it turns out it was my grans favourite recipe from when she was little abd she had forgotten about it so that was nice :) 

It's pretty much a berry crumble but instead swap the crumble for sponge :) super yummy!!! 

So yeah that was a nice day :) 

Hope you are well!!

Lots of love 

Livvy xoxoxo:) 

Life today!

Well today was pretty good. The yr 11 ups have their exams that start tomorrow (Ahh that will be me next year Ncea exams!) so our timetables are all mucked up... All our classes have been changed to different rooms and for French and art our class has been split up?! Half of our french class is in H block another in K and another in I?! I block is my normal class room but I have been moved to K. All the teachers are saying different things like some are saying go to your normal class and others are saying follow the new timetable and then we got sent a email saying something different again!?! So tomorrow I am garenteed to go to the wrong class, which is also making me anxious as school is my main point of anxiety so adding extra stress is freaking me out!!
Also the thing with our new timetables are that we now have morning break at 9:45!! And lunch at 11 which I think is stupid because I'm not going to be able to eat lunch at 11 when I am use to lunch at 12:50 and it is so close to morning break so I won't be hungry, and I won't be hungry at morning break because that is only an hour and ten min since school started!! And by 4th period we will all be starving!! They expect us to eat all our food in the morning then wait 4 and a half hours until after school, crazy... :( and I like eating at the same time each day, it's my routine and I hate change! :(

After school today, which I walked home for 40min I am so proud as I hate running and walking, worst kind of exercise... Too much effort ;) so lazy! I played tennis with R for an hour and that as fun! I still laugh how he is 2 years younger than me but still beats me every time!! I Lost 6-1 today... But they were all close matches like we got to duece every set, so happy about that and the set I did in was  on my serve too, haha so happy as my serves were actually okay today and went in!! Haha hope they do on Saturday too when we have coaching!!

For English at the moment we are doing static images and we have to design and make a book cover front and back for a myth or ledgen, I am thinking of doing Maui which is a maori myth but still not sure if I want to yet.. I have until thursday when we start on them s I have time kinda...

Anyway mum made spag bol tonight fr tea and that was really good, except for that fact my mum gave me heaps of it and I couldn't finish it, so it looked like I ate nothing when really I ate lots it was just a huge serving! And my parents complained that I wasn't eating enough and said I better start eating more and putting on more weight or they will call th ED centre again and I don't want that, just got trusted at home and school again!! So yeah, don't want t lose that trust!

I hope you guys had a good day as well!! Or start of a new day or rear of day whatever your time difference is! Haha, more hot chocolate icecream for desert I think!! (if you haven't tryed it it's by tiptop and you should it's so good!!) love you guys stay strong!! :)

Dinner

Dinner was fun tonight, Buddha stix which was Thai was really nice it was just our family and my gran and poppa so that was cool, do admit that I didn't eat very much though, I wasn't full but got to that point where putting food in my mouth was just impossible and felt I couldn't swallow it so I just stopped though now I think I should of eaten a lot more...
My grandparents then came back to our house while tea and coffee and we all had one of my banana choc chip muffins which turned out really well!! (it was the same recipe as last week but I put chocolate into them and didn't ice them but they are still yummy!!)
Not looking forward to school tomorrow just feel sick about it. And I will have to walk to school probably by myself again, as my friend has blown me off three weeks in a row now... Oh well, and it's forecast for rain... :( one thing that excistes me though is we are going to start tie dye in textiles which is so cool as I have never done it before!! So yay!
My parents are toughing up on me having my fortisips so now I pretty much have to have them now as I was avoiding them, well actually I wasn't having them at all so now back to three a day... And they are so hard to have and they always make me feel sick and dizzy afterwards :( oh well something's you just can't control...

So good night I hope everything is okay!! Xoxo "lean on me when your not strong I'll be your friend and help you carry on" love that quote!! And 100% true! I will always be here for you if you need someone to talk too or rant I don't mind!! :) xoxo!!

Sorry guys

Sorry guys today has been a really bad post day. The mall was pretty good, I had roast pork with veges and gravy for dinner with this amazing hot chocolate cupcake for desert. Ohhh it was so good it had marshmallows through it and was filled with chocolate sauce with tonnes of pink icing!!  Yum!!
I am feeling anxious at th moment because when I got on the scales after tea (yes am getting on them very day, not meant to...) and it read 47... I know it's a good thing but it feels terrible... Oh well it is probably just water weight and will go away in the morning, well I hope so,  just wasn't expecting it

I am so glad school is over for the week and I have done al my homework so I have the weekend off! Yay! No stress for two days!! Wow yay it's only three weeks until the school holidays! Can't wait, even though I have to watch Rs soccer tournament for a week but it will still be fun I guess!

I am so tired school takes it toll on me. By the end of each week I am so dead! Haha sleep in tomorrow Saturday, and tennis starts next weekend!! Yay can wait!

I think I will be making more banana cupcakes tomorrow, they were soo good!!

Have a good night/ morning / afternoon or whatever it is where you live!! And I will do way more better posts (bad grammar) tomorrow I promise!! Love you! :) xoxo stay strong!

...

Today has not been a great day. I have had the worst cramps in the world all day, I woke up at 4am with them and couldn't get back to sleep so I'm tired too, they were okay by second period but came back at fifth and I still have them now :( Ugghh the ones that are so painful you feel the pain round your back and down you legs and feel sick :( that's me every month. They got so bad that I have had to start taking birth control tablets every month, not that I'm planning to have s*x anytime soon!! I really don't think they make a difference though but apparently they take three months to start working so only one more month to go! Hopefully they do work because it hurts soo much! :(

After school my mum took us for hair cuts, not that I want to cut my hair any shorter so I just got it trimmed and my fringe cut. My two brothers got there's done too, I love watching R have his den because it's always long when we go so when they use the buzzy thing to trim the sides he always gets a bowl cut for about two minutes and it's hairlious! But they then trim the top and it looks fine again! Haha it's great though...

My parents are toughing up on my fortisips they have relised I haven't been having them so now they are super strict in them. I hate them so much though, they taste disgusting and make me gag and because they are so high in calories, protein and heaps of other stuff they always make me feel sick and dizzy and give me headaches after, but apparently that's normal for people who don't eat enough. :(

Anyway we are having fish for tea, yay!! I love fish so much (that doesn't mean you have to like fish as well or eat it, it's your choice, your body!) we buy it from this special place and they put it in an oven bag with your choice of sauce, we normally have Thai sweet chilli but they didn't have that one today so mum got a coconut and spices one and that sounds really nice too, so can't wait to try it!

Now eating my yummy snack before tea, about ten M 'n' M's! Haha,  I love chocolate!! The new raspberry m'n'm's have come out as well and I can't wait to try them too oh and the vanilla milkshake ones! Haha we always get the new flavours in NZ way after them come out over seas, in Australia they have pretzel ones and they are really nice but I haven't been able to find them in NZ, I know they already had the raspberry ones out in Australia at the end of last year when we went but they have only come in NZ now!! Haha oh well...

Yay time for fish and rice, and veges of course!! Yum, it smells really good!!

Have a nice dinner too, or whatever meal you are having now where ever in the world you are! Stay calm and just try to enjoy it, it will he okay! And if it is really greasy or full of butter etc. hey one meal won't make any difference to your weight so Who Cares?! Enjoy it, it will taste great!! Unlessn it is a fortisip... In that case I feel your pain!! Have a good time :)

Lunch

Sushi for lunch yum :) sorry link I know will update again when I have access to the computer. :)
Tuna sushi . I love sushi, do you? What's your favorite type? Off to my friends joint birthday party in 2 hours! They will pass either very fast or extremely slow, not sure which yet... But I will start to get anxious soon... :/ oh well! Who cares?!

Have a nice afternoon :D

Back to normal...

Yay back home again! We had tea at our grans which was roast chicken with veges then a apple and pear crumble for dessert! Yum! I am also happy to say that I have only put on .5kg over these five days yay! Tomorrow I am back to school.. Starting to freak out already... Bad thing I know but I do have an anxiety disorder so I suppose I should of seen all the nausea and nerves coming... I hate it so much and it is so hard to overcome! Its like I recover then fall back into GADs hands again and again. It is hard to over come it, it's a constant struggle. And I hate it I wish I never had anxiety ever! Can't I be normal??! Please for once!?!
If only.

And tomorrow I will have lots of school work to catch up on sigh.. I hate being behind, but I think I am getting use to it now. I miss school when my anxiety gets the better of me or when I feel so depressed I can't do anything or constantrate so there is no point or because I am sick. I get sick soo often it is not funny, I know it is because of my ED I don't eat enough therefore my immune system is very weak along with the rest if me, it's like I have a never ending cold, mixed in with kidney infections etc. along the way.

But tomorrow I will post all my pictures and update my Melbourne posts and add pics to them as well, so something to look forward to, I hope... Let me know :)

Love you guys so much, I feel I get so much support just by so many people reading my blog, thanks :) and I hope you are doing well and recovering super amazingly! ;) I believe in you!! ;D

Dinner

Dinner was very nice we had roast lamb and roast veges (haha typical kiwi Sunday roast!!) And then trifle and my grans stewed pears for desert yum :) I ate so much that I felt sick and my stomach ached!! Suppose that is a good thing though... But its like I ate all that plus some of my lollies and my weight is still lower than the past few days (44) !! So really that proves that it IS okay to eat lollies and pig out it really doesn't matter!! Eat what you want when you want, eat what you are craving it is okay!!

Yum!!! these are just the veges, I couldn't really take lots of pictures with my phone as one as my parents and grandparents don't know about my blog and I would like to keep it this way it would be very weird to take pictures of tea and two, my grandparents don't really approve of technology. So yeah that's why there is only one photo.

Ughh I am so full!! Tomorrow I am going to walk to school with my friend, So I will get some exercise it is approx. 7 km so good workout especially with I don't even know how heavy my bag is but it is very heavy!! And I will have to talk to my textiles teacher tomorrow, dreading it... Hopefully can move my grade up from a NA which is very unfair as it was my terrible group who decided to not do it not me and I couldn't help being sick!! so yeah hopefully she is in a very good mood :) fingers crossed!!

Good night xoxo new week, new progress forwards !! :) go on make sure you reach your goal this week I believe in you!

Dinner

So I did end up making dinner so I made a lamb vege and rosemary casserole with rice. It was really nice and for dessert I made cooked rhubarb and custard, I haven't had rhubarb in ages so that wad really nice! I am very tired now though... Sleep time soon yay! but not until in watch Miranda and maybe Jono and Ben at ten? I don't know yet see how I feel.  Now for those who want to know where abouts in NZ I live this is a big clue: This afternoon we had another small after shock (haha guessed) only a 3.7 so not a bad one but just enough to remember where I live!! It was tiny and It's getting worrying that they happen so often that you realize but don't think anything of them anymore, I used to jump and freak out by the tiniest one but I am so used to them now... (And I have mentioned that I don't live in the capitol before) Guessed??

See ya tomorrow and don't hesitate to email me any question you have or just want someone to talk and rant to all good, more than happy too :)

Willowbank

Anyway we did end up going to Willowbank, It was really fun and both my brothers liked it a lot even though the older one is 'too cool' to admit it. I do feel sorry for all the animals that have to live in cages but heaps of them just roam free like they have ducks and chickens and turkies, wallabies and pigeons just wandering around the park, they cant escape they park but they aren't in cages like the monkeys and lemurs. There are tonnes of farmyard animals as well, we spent most of our time there as my brother B love horses and pigs!! anyway some pics, sorry there are heaps !!

Baby goat, it was only six days old, naww

 Beautiful bunnies

This is the chicken that followed me around the whole park but it was cute so I didn't mind!

 Brown chickens

 Speckled chickens

 Afro chicken

 Fluffy chickens, can you tell I have a soft spot for chickens they are soooo cute!! Xoxo

 Kakariki birds

 Oh and I love piglets as well...

 Omg they are just wayyy too cute :P

That was fun, we didn't have enough time to go around the whole park so we will go back again as we got a season pass as it was only 20 dollars more for unlimited times more than what it would of cost us anyway so yay! We will also be getting Thai take aways for tea to celebrate my brother R getting into the rep team!!

Dinner

We went out to dinner tonight just out to the food court at the mall, I enjoy it as I can choose what I want and pay for it. No talking to waiters or in a formal setting where you feel everyone can see you and you don't have to dress up, this is what I wore (above) I like it nice and warm too especially as it is only 4 degrees  Celsius outside brrr and expected to drop to -2 tonight and sleety showers (I really want it to just snow instead!)  and there is no pressure and just fun! I ate some fried rice with chicken and veges and four shrimp dumplings. We were at the mall for a while I didn't buy anything though but my brother chose out some soccer boots that my parents will buy for him if he gets into our city rep team, that he got into last year and this year for futsul (we got to travel to the capital for futsul earlier this year) and compeat with teams from all over NZ! I think this year is in Blenim, I really do hope he gets in, I think he will but there is also a chance he won't and he will be gutted.

45.5 kg only 4kg to go!!! Yay!! My GP said she wants me between 49 and 52 I would rather be closer to 49 though! So happy fortisip only twice a day now!! Yay!! We have another three months worth of banana and chocolate fortisips coming that's over 350 of them... :( the choc and banana ones are the ones that taste least terrible as the aftertaste isn't as strong but they all taste yuucckk if you get a choice of flavors do not I repeat do not get vanilla it is terrible uhhh I can barely drink them!

Anyway have an awesome night !!