The last of the photos :)

I think these are the best photos and there is loads of food in these ones (just a warning)

Lunch on the tram..chicken on spinach with what I think was gravy but didn't really touch it, the piece of chicken was huge!! I couldn't finish it.

 Starter on the tram Gluten free bread

 I think this must be the best lemon lime and bitters ever!! it is soo good, and no the wine isn't mine!!

 Tram lunch, ignore the guy out the window I have NO idea who he is I just wanted a pic of the tram!

 Me about to go swimming in the amaze pool (photo in post before)

 Pasta with tomato sauce and cheese, one of our dinners

 My new gym shoes I bought, they were so cheap and so cool! pink!

 The dress I wore going to Les Mis (my first show and it was so good!)

 The hotel lobby

 The car ralley, car 14

 My poor hair after the car rallry it was so windy and my hair ended up very tangled and I think my fringe turned into a side fringe for about two days after!!

 And creme caramel, my desert one night!

And thats all hope you enjoyed!! xoxo

One reason to begin to recover you can go on holidays!!

MELBOURNE PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!

Yay finally here :) Sorry for the wait and because there are tonnes of them!!

More aquarium photos more later...

I LOVE frogs soooooooo much, they are soooo cute!! xoxo

Some lizards, i think i just love reptiles ;)

Outside the boat we did a two hour cruise on the the man said 'Ladies and gents' over 180 times!!

Haha playing with panoramic 

Penguins

More frogs xoxo

Snake... Cool but really Freaky so glad we don't have them in NZ!!

Turtle :)

Melbourne photos finally!!

Sorry these took ages but they are here now!! Enjoy (and remember i am not a photographer!)

These are mostly at the aquarium But there are some of the hotel at the bottom, will post others in a second. 

The adorable black clown fish

 Jellyfish, really cool unless you get stung by one, I have and it hurts like hell!! I was smart and got stung on the back of my leg then wiped it with my hand so I got stung on my hand as well!!

 Lionfish

 Lobster

 The tropical tank with Dory fish!!

 Clownfish, Like NEMO!!

 Melbourne over the Yara river

 Watched the Book Thief on the way over, really good movie,sad, but good

 Our hotel room, haha just after we dived onto the bed as you do..

 The AMAZING pool!!!!

Melbourne day 5 plus NZ

Well today has been quite un eventful. We hopped on the plane at 9 Australia time, so 11 nz and arrived back at home now at 4 :) I think we are picking up Byron my cat soon and then we are off to my grans house for tea :) she always has the best food! Always the perfect all home made tea :)

Yesterday in Melbourne (sorry didn't have time to write) when we were on the car rally this seriously irritating bossy photographer followed us around all day taking photos which she was so proud of even though I think I could of done better... Uugghh she annoyed me soooooooo much!! She was all like, princess your not looking in the right direction, put ya chin down now! Move over now! Im waiting get over there! And she had the most irritating accent!! And at lunch she took our seats because she 'had' to be by her son so he doesn't get lonely, dude he's 34!!! And there were free seats on the other side so my family got split up. And then she called over a waitress by saying excuse me, oi you here now! And was then like we have kids here and I know they love chips soo much they have since they were little (hello we met today for the first time) could you get some for the kids? By now I was like F. you, the fricken last thing I want is oily deep fried chips, ewww! My brother R on the other hand was really looking forward to a whole bowl of chips as he knew I don't like eating chips (hate the texture and taste and oil eww) but when they arrived the waitress put them in front of me and walked off and the photo lady grabbed them and eat the whole bowl!! What??! She used us to get chips for herself!! We didn't even get one! Thankfully, for me anyway... So yeah she really got on my nerves, at least I will never have to see her again, fingers crossed :)

But I am really glad to be back home again! Yay :) back to normal guys :D hope you are doing okay xoxo

Melbourne day 4 :)

Well, today was okay.mi don't know wether I enjoyed it or not. We had to get up really early and go on a 1920 car rally... It was fun at first but then by the time we got to the third leg which was three hours I was so board. We started early and had an hour long trip to breakfast at the Melbourne market flower cafe, next leg was 2 hours to another market for morning tea, then the three hour one for lunch at a art gallery thing out in the country. The food was really nice there though. For lunch I had poached salmon with lemon and dill, it had this potato thing with it but it dripped with butter and oil and I just couldn't eat it so I swapped it with my dad for some roast veges and a salad instead, thanks dad :) sand for desert I had lemon tart,yum :) we didn't hav e a choice what we got as it was alternative serve with three dishes, but I am glad I got the salmon as that was what I wanted.  We then drove back to the hotel where I am now at 5:15, long day.. I think I am getting pasta for tea, room service as the adults are going out to tea but the leave at 8 and are back by 12 and that is waayyy to late, I am so tired already!!

Haha the hotel is still swamped with lady gaga fans :/ still!

Anyway have a good night and tonight you will face that voice in your head do what it doesn't want you to do EAT!! You can do it, if I can so can you :) good luck xoxo

Melbourne day 3

Haha I know I am writing this on day four but I literally wasn't at the hotl at all yesterday. We started by going out to breakfast at th hotel, buffet, at 6am. We then got driven down to the rive where we went on a very very long 2 hour cruise, man did it feel longer though... The man talking was just sooooooo annoying R and I started counting how many times he said 'Ladies and gents' and we got 164 times and we only started about half way!! It was 'well ladies and gents'! 'ladies and gents next', etc etc etc.!!M Ahh soo frustrating!!

Next we hopped on a tram for lunch and was on that for 3 hours, but it went really quickly and the food was nice. I had salmon with avocado mousse as a entre then chicken with spinach and something fancy I didn't know and then tea with a cheese platter. Yum.

We then went back to our hotel and stood in the loby for about an hour waiting for lady gaga! Haha!! With dads colleagues of course so we talked with them, we didn't even know we were waiting for lady gaga at first we just thought we were talking!

Anyway we then rushed upstairs and got into our good clothes (my blue dress ith black tights and boots) and went down to a room behind the bar and watched the rugby, All blacks vs wallebys. Gues who won? All blacks!! Yay nz!! 43-16 !!! Not that I'm into rugby at all! I just sat and drank my lemon lime and bitters. I really didn't feel like drinking it but I knew if I didn't I would be forced to eat instead so ya, and I was super full from lunch that we only finished an hour before!

Later we went to, dun dun dun.... Les Miserables!!, omg amazing!!! Soo good! My first show too! I wasn't going to go as I got soo anxious that I had to leave to room where they were watching the rugby and go up to the room by myself to calm down, I don't even know what I was anxious about, maybe being around and sitting next to strangers in the theater, I don't know?! But I got to the point where I was no anxious that I was gagging and felt like throwing up, but I didn't, wanted to but didn't because otherwise my parents would think I was trying to get rid of food so yeah that wouldn't of gone down well... But the show was soooooo good really amazing so glad I went!!!

And I didn't get back to the hotel until 12 which is 2am NZ time!  And I just went strait to sleep, sorry. :) so ya. I hope you are all doing fantastically !! Stay strong!! :)

Melbourne day two

Well today was a fun day, I really enjoyed it. After the aquarium we came back to the hotel and just relaxed while my brother had his mid-day sleep we then caught the train into Melbourne central and went to the Nike outlet were I bought the new pair of running shoes that I really wanted, they are grey with pink soles and laces :) and also while we were at the mall I bought these little ball lights to hang in my room when I get back and they are really pretty, make my room more cheerful and they were $15 off too, so happy happy me!

Caught the train back and then went swimming on the ninth floor of our hotel, well I just sat in the spa as the pool was freezing and I still feel exhausted so exercise is like the last thing I want to do, that was fun

For tea we went down to the restaurant and I had fish and rice with bok-choy (green asian left vege) and a lemonade yumm :) after Dad came back from his meetings and we went down to the bar with him and his colleagues and my brother R and I got desert which was this fancy carrot layer jelly thing, really nice :) went back up to the room and now I am baby sitting both my brothers as my parents are going out to tea with dads work.

This afternoon some of my dads colleagues saw lady gaga coming out of the hotel and pushed there way through screaming fans and got a couple of good pics,haha. she has been out since 4 and she doesn't have a concert tonight so she is dew back any minute and we can see the swarm of teens outside singing her songs now, haha, I kinda feel sorry for her though...

I didn't really have a lunch again, I tried but we didn't have anything so I had some strawberries and when we went out at 3 I got some prawn dumplings yum :) not very good of me. I hope you were all a lot better than me with food today an everything Is okay, I am sure it is or will get better very soon as you are all very strong and know that you CAN fight the voice in your head and it will be okay :) xoxo have a fantasic night everyone, Smile, xoxo :)

Some pictures

Melbourne aquarium sorry I can't post pics but I can post a link on my iPad, I will post proper pics when i get back

Penguins

Frog :)
Fish
Turtle video this video is really cute, love turtles. Ignore all the people talking in the background and the baby, there were lots of people around!
Penguin video this one is really cool at hey were jumping in and out of the water soo cute, worth watching :)

Ya, will put a pics when I get home these were just a few from today :) 

Melbourne day two :)

I know it's only 11:51 but I will update what I have done all ready.

We for up at 6:00 Australian time, oops and went down and had breakfast which was a buffet. I had a hash brown, bacon, roast tomato and some eggs just a little of each as I prefer just simple fruit and such and then what I really wanted a big bowl of watermelon, strawberries, passion fruit and grapes :) yum. And then some cheese and crackers.

We then caught the tram down to Melbourne aquarium and was there for about an hour. It was really cool we saw heaps of fish, frogs, a crocodile and penquins :) naww!! They were soo cute. My favs were defiantly the frogs, oh and the turtles and jellyfish and the clownfish :)
 haha there will be tonnes and tonnes a photos when I get back :)

Later I think we might be catching the train into town so we can go to the Nike outlet shop so my brother can get his well earned football boots (soccer) and I think of we go I might get some new gym shoes as they are cheaper here and Nike sell the ones I like so yeah.

I hope every thing is well and you are coping fine :) I am sure you are!!

Lady gaga

Well you know how I said the hotel was waayyy to fancy for me, yeah.., well any way this proves it:
Lady Gaga is staying in the same hotel as us!!
I haven't seen her and I don't think I will but I don't really care all that much, yeah it's cool but I'm not going to be fan girl crazy stalking out our hotel. We got told that we can go out about 6-7but it will probably be filled with screaming girls so ya... Not looking forward to that... And I am not meant to tell you this, as they don't want people to know where she is staying but I haven't told you which hotel, so it's okay :) I can tell you tomorrow though :)

Melbourne day one

Huuhh yay first day almost over. I am soo tired and am pretty homesick already. I just miss my bed and all my belongings back home, and today reminded me of how much I hate flying and the first day of travel. Flying, ugh just hate it, I have so much anxiety with it and feel sick the whole time and its just not fun, how can people enjoy being crammed into small seats for hours on end and the plane food ewww. Scrambled eggs are not meant to be shaped and moulded into a ball!! Gross and dry potatoes and cooked onion, that was my breakfast... Yuck. I watched the book theif on the plane on the way over and that took up two hours and it was really good too, one good thing, free movies! We then got driven by a man with a strech car (small limo) to our hotel which is waayyy too fancy for me!! It has (will try to explain post pics when I get home) this massive entrance with marble pillars and floor everywhere and all this silver, I'm scared I will damage it by walking on it!! And it also has this huge swimming pool indoors on the nineth floor, my brothers and mum went in it in the afternoon, I didn't I stayed back and hoped in the huge spa bath and watched tv that they had over the bath!! Omg its amazing!! I feel like I don't belong here, I really want to be at home and going to school right now... But I suppose it will just get a bit of getting use to... And it's only for 4 more days it can't be that bad, can it??

Later we walked to the shopping centre and had a look around and then walked back, I really didn't enjoy it. I didn't know that it was soo far away s I wore my boots and now I have blisters and blood all through my socks and boots and my feet ache! And then it all got too much for me when we got back so I just went into my room and cried and cried. I want to be at home. I think my mum knew I had been crying but she didn't say anything. I kinda didn't have lunch because I was soo tired and depressed I just couldn't manage it. I feel really guilty now though!...  And then we had tea and I had the only gluten free thing on the kids menu (I wasn't ordering a adult size!) a piece of pan fried fish and rice... The fish was really nice, not drenched in butter so yay! The rice, well it was rice... 

Later when finally saw my Dad yay yay!! And then we went down to the bar and ordered desert, I got pav and that's just say Australia, you don't know what pav is!! It's a kiwi fluffy whipped meringue cake, not a piece of hard meringue with a lump of cream on it, oh well. I shouldn't of got my hopes up for a piece of kiwi pav. We then stayed for a while and some of my dads colleagues came down for drinks and we talked for a while and next we came back up to the room and got into bed, aka now :) haha I am writing this when I am meant to be sleeping, but there is no other time I will get privacy to write a post and my family don't know about my blog and I would like to keep it that way as I don't want them reading all my depressed thoughts and about the times when I self harme, they don't need to worry about that, I can cope on my own. I hope :) nah I am :) and if they read like today that I didn't have lunch (which you should NEVER do!!) I would end up in the eating disorders unit in about two minutes, and I am not going back there. But sometimes things do get too tough and you end up skipping a meal, but as long as you eat extra later you can still get your bodies needs into you for that day but you shouldn't go four hours without eating! That's something you should aim for :) 

Anyways I think my brother is asleep next to me so I probably should be asleep too :)
Hope everything is well, good night xoxo :)

Bye

Off to the airport now and yes it's 3:28 am !! Anyway I will update when I can but otherwise have an awesome 5 days!! :)

Stay strong xoxo!!

Ahh!!

Only a matter of 7 hours before we are to be at the airport. Freaking out with anxiety!! Oh well I'm sure I'll be fine when I get there. Ive got extra anxiety about flying because of the flight that went missing and the one that got shot down (even though we aren't flying over Russia!!) and the one the 'blew' in to the side of the mountain on its way out of nz and I live in nz! So yeah... Also really excited though!! Sorry there will be no pictures while I am away but I can promise there will be heaps when I get home again!! I have also schuldeled I think it's one post per day while I am away so if I don't have any Internet there should still be something to read :) I will try to post an update every chance I get, if I don't I apologies now :)

So yay excited, also feel sick with anxiety and my heart is pounding which I think will increase in 7 hours!!! As well as get all my other sysmptoms also (shaking, nausea etc.) not looking forward to that but am looking forward to the trip. Hopefully everything goes okay!! So anxietous right now thank GAD!! But it will be okay just breath...

Anyways hope you guys will cope over the next few days, well I know you will! Keep eating even if it's hard, it will be very hard for me! I will be eating every meal with over 30 people!! And that's just our group nit everyone else in the restuarant!, we will be with my Dad and his work collegues. So yeah remember that you are perfect!! I care about you if it feels like no one else does, I will be here. And love is stronger than the pressure to be perfect! It will always be that way!

Love ya all!!